Recently, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon stated that “everyone has a responsibility to prevent and end violence against women and girls, starting by challenging the culture of discrimination that allows it to continue”. For me, this statement is key for the elimination of violence against women. In my opinion, we first need to go to the root of the idea that violence against women is an acceptable or reasonable method of response. As a young girl, growing up in the Caribbean, I was raised in a culture that undeniably held boy children to a different measuring stick; this in itself began the discriminations of socializing. Violence can start from very early on, however, girls are expected to live by the credo “little girls must be seen and not heard”.
This, too, has resulted in the silencing of many little girls voices to the atrocities of hidden violence.
As I grew, I recall encounters between spouses or partners where physical violence and verbal abuse was a regular occurrence; the sight of it was “normal”. In some instances, when the police would be called, the female involved would beg the officer not to take the man, even to the point of becoming violent if the authorities persisted in the arrest.
The acceptance of violence against women is a true cultural disparity and a phenomenon that has been handed down the generations as an “accepted” practice.
With the progression of time, the females in the island have not only grown in strength but they have come together to dispel the notion that violence against women is acceptable as a cultural practice. They continue to educate themselves and fight for the elimination of violence against women. So as we recognize the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, remember that hope springs eternal.
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Episodes of drama and tensions noticeably present
Linking each encounter, making things unbearable
Inflicting harm and injury, causing irreparable damage
More often than not
In an effort to remove oneself
Negotiations become tenuous
And things fall apart
To the detriment of she
Everything out of reach
Vulnerable and distressed
I your target
Only knowing abuse
Live a life, a lie camouflaged
Escape appears pointless as running not even optional
Nowhere else to hide
Conditions remain stalemated
Exceptions to be expected as the end becomes inevitable
Hayley Millington is the Union of National Employees’ national equity representative for women. This article was written as part of our union’s member journalism program. If you’d like to find out more, click here – to pitch a story or for any questions, please send an email to communications@une-sen.org.